As you will soon learn, I like lists. No, I love lists. I am a Virgo, which apparently renders me greatly enamored by the organizational attributes of a list.
So, here’s the thing, I’m also newly married which in our very forward thinking society causes nearly everyone I happen upon to ask “WHEN ARE YOU HAVING BABIES?!”. I have several points of contention with such a question:
- It is none of your business.
- It is none of your business.
- I don’t have a flipping clue.
Also, I am extremely put-off by acquaintances and strangers asking me such a personal, life changing question. This is something that is chiefly between my husband and I. Also, I have friends on both ends of the parenting spectrum, those that were surprised by a very unplanned blessing and those that have been trying endlessly only to suffer through horrific miscarriages and disappointing answers. I don’t want Mr. Dubs and I to have to answer to any of that with anyone other than the tight knit support network that we choose.
With all that said, I do have a uterus, which apparently endears the good Lord to start my clock a ticking. So, I do get all gooey over newborns. (A fairly recent phenomena that I do not really appreciate.) I used to be able to look upon a newborn and think “Ew, that thing is puking all over itself and just pooped up its back!” now the thought process goes a little more like “I need to hold that bundle of warm, soft, love! I don’t mind if that means I have to change its diaper or even wear a hazmat suit to protect myself from it’s bodily functions. I need one. I wonder if I can steal this one?”
Well, and there lies the problem. For a multitude of reasons, now is not the time to start this proliferation of small, dependent humans. So, in order to distract myself, I have signed up for a half marathon. You’ll be hearing a lot of about it later-I promise. And with that first distraction becoming a major factor in my life – a few new ideas have hit the Pre-Offspring Bucket List.
- Train for, and complete my first-ever half marathon, the Nike Women’s Half Marathon in DC this April.
- Get a bangin’ new job that I love and that actually covers maternity leave or even just short-term disability. (OH AMERICA I AM SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU ON THIS TOPIC!)
- Go on a girls’ trip to someplace beachy with a handful of my closest, most positive and adorable friends. (I’m a pretty lucky gal because all of my friends are positive and adorable, its Snipperette Friend Requirement.)
- Take a damn honeymoon!
- Start a blog, (CHECK!) keep it updated at least once a week and be brave enough to share the URL with other humans.
- Read more books.
- Successfully complete a 21 Day Sugar Detox.
- Get more engaged with my community!
- Do more yoga and less TV watching.
- Buy more shoes.
As you can see, I’ve limited the list to just 10 items. I’d say it’s manageable and that it makes sense to attempt these before there is a small, lovable, life changing, parasite pooping all over my independence.
Also, I’m giving you homework. Please send me reading suggestions! I need to create a list of books to read so I am never without a nice long queue of reading material.